Today, I Lost My Mind

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This week has been a rough one. Nothing that other’s haven’t been through before, but still draining. It started last weekend and ended today, where I truly felt like I had completely lost my mind.

Last Friday I noticed that L.L. was getting all her molars at once. At first I was excited, even happily declared it to Gil when he got home from work. Then by Sunday she had a low-grade fever and went to bed without eating. It was sad to hold her feeling so bad, but I have to admit I really loved the snuggle time. As the week went by her mood swings were in full force, the high pitched screaming was as ear piercing as I had ever heard it and she would eat was dairy. She only had that low fever for a day, while each day brought something new I woke up everyday hoping we were on the upswing. On Sunday her knee scrapes were a strange white, so we were worried something affected her at the beach. On Monday I noticed a rash under her scraped knee and on the inside of her leg. On Wednesday around lunch I noticed the rash had spread to both legs, by the afternoon it was in her diaper. So I called the triage nurse.

The nurse thought it was roseola. Which I had heard of before, but only when a friend’s baby got it. Looked it up and it seemed we were pretty much done with it. THEN, I noticed blisters late that afternoon on her feet. That was when I got a little scared. You see, we had played with some kids that came down with hand, foot, mouth disease the week before. Even though all her symptoms didn’t add up to that I was starting to feel certain it’s what she had. I made an appointment the next day for our pediatrician and sure enough – that was it! Which brought on extra stress of being afraid that either adults, in our house, would catch it OR if we gave it to anyone else in the last week. So, I took to washing my hands almost every time L.L. touched me and washing anything she touched or wore. It had been a busy week.

We are now to a week later and I cancelled our plans with friends. Even though, L.L. wasn’t supposed to be contagious I didn’t want to chance it. What I was really excited about was my friend’s baby shower on Sunday. Saturday night I wrapped the gift. Sunday morning I skipped the Farmer’s Market and made the card. Then, I got all dressed up and out the door! I was on time (yay!) and ready to enjoy an afternoon with the girls. As I was on the road I pulled out the invitation to make sure I had the correct time since it was a 45 minute drive. That was when I saw “Saturday, September 14th” and my heart skipped a beat. Even though I was on a really busy highway I had to stop, so I pulled over to the shoulder and continued to panic. Looked at my phone thinking, ‘it is Sunday, right?’ could it be Saturday? what is today’s date?’ and the calendar app read 15. That was when it dawned on me that I had been all wrong. The freaking shower was YESTERDAY!

In my panic I called the Mom-to-be, got voicemail. Called a friend I knew was supposed to attend the baby shower, got voicemail. All through leaving messages I tried to keep my composure as tears rolled down my cheeks. Then, I called my husband and completely broke down. Poor guy, I must have sounded crazy, because he just asked me where I was, in a VERY concerned tone. I told him where I was, that I was coming home and would see him soon. Hung up and lost it. There I was balling in my car, on the shoulder of a highway with cars constantly buzzing by and shaking the car. It only lasted a few minutes because I realized the craziness of what I was doing AND didn’t want a cop to show up asking me if ‘everything is ok, ma’am’. I had been pulled over long enough, so I started my journey back home. As I got to our neighborhood, I looked at myself in the rearview and saw the mess. Mascara all down my cheeks, puffy and red eyes – lovely. When I got to our street I saw L.L. and Daddy waiting for me. It was very sweet and I tried really hard to be over the emotional part. Of course, it didn’t work and Gil was as understanding as ever.

Eventually I calmed down. Emailed the two hostesses of the shower and the Mom-to-be to apologize. My friend Nikki, who attended the shower, called me back and I started to feel better. I was finally at the point where I could laugh at the situation. And this, will have to be hand delivered.

photo

Now, I am about to post something that happened to me the same day it’s going online, so things are looking up. This is a first! Next week will be better and I’ve got a girl’s weekend of fun in the sun for the weekend (yes, it really is happening next weekend – I’m 100% sure of that!). Thanks for listening.

2 Comments

  1. For like the hundredth time, I wish we lived closer, so a) I could give you a hug; and b) you could give me a hug when stuff like this happens in my life – because it does. Sending you love from the east coast.

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