My understanding is that a new year is for making resolutions, starting “over” with a new and better you, but I don’t subscribe to that. There was a time when I did, but that was when I thought it was a good idea. Now I just try to be a good person all the time. I know who I am and I know I’m not going to completely change, so I do the best with what I’ve got.
Over the years I have tried to become a better me and I actually feel like it has worked. Not that I’m so special and couldn’t use to work on some things, I’m sure my husband could attest to that. Overall I try to be nice, put myself in other’s shoes, make time for family and friends, and most of all be respectful. The golden rule, it’s what I think everyone should live by. I have also worked on letting go of how others treat me. There is only so much I can control and one of the things that I had a hard time with was my reaction to the way people treated me and those around me. I would get so worked up over it. Sometimes I still do that, but have made it to a much healthier place (in my mind). I don’t let others bother me as much, stay out of things, instead trying to concern myself with things that I directly affect.
This also pertains to my huge circle of friends. I love people and love to make new friends and love to continue friendships over time. This can get messy when others move on and you still hold on. Especially when you move to a new place, start a new job, get married, or even have a kid. I still want to have all those friends I have always had. These daysI’m much better at not letting it get me down or forcing the friendship by way of me making all the effort. Now, I realize that when I make all the effort I’m the one who is putting too much of myself out there. If they want to be my friend, they will return the effort and then I won’t seem so sensitive all the time.
Which leads me to also accepting me as who I am. I’m an emotional person. I’m loyal. I like to be around friends all the time (family, if they didn’t live across the country). I like to chat and tell friends/family what’s going on with me ALL the time. I’m mostly a nice person. I’m sensitive. I’m never 100% sure of myself. I want to be a perfectionist. I have a hard time letting go. The list could go on and on…
What I have learned is that no matter how much I work on all these things, I am who I am, and I am ok with that. My friends and family should be ok with that, too. No matter how much I work on being a better me I am also 100% ok with the fact that I am the person I was born to be; and that is the person listed in the above paragraph. Even though I have said a thousand times I am going to pair down my Facebook friend list, it’s still growing to the 800 mark. Even though I say I am done with certain friends or groups I still go back and extend the effort to see them again and again. Things like that.
However, I have made a deal with my husband on the Christmas card list (which is at about 150 or more). He said if we don’t hear from them or get a card from them in 3 years they are off the list. With the reserve that there are some people and family members you know you won’t hear from and they will stay on the list as long as we want them to be there. I wasn’t sure of this deal, but know I had to take it because that is compromise. Plus, this is helping me let go. ‘Cause, we only get about 40-50 cards in return. Not that it’s about getting something in return, but when he argues the cost I put out there for them and why it has to be so many I lose part of my argument when I’m sending out 3 times that amount. I get it, 150 is a little outrageous – but I love making them and sending them to everyone on that list!
Which make this the close of the post. I only have so much time to do everything that I want to do. The perfectionist in me has had to take a back seat. AND the pet peeves that I have must be overlooked (at times). This is demonstrated in the video posted below. I do not like it when people take a video in the wrong orientation, it irks me. Kinda like when people use pictures of their kids or pets for their profile pictures – it’s YOUR profile people, not your kid’s or your pets. Well, I did what I hate others do and I didn’t have time to correct it! Because my phone immediately tells me I have to delete pictures to do anything else, ’cause there’s no more space left (well, 2000 pictures will do that). I mean, really, just because your phone will do an vertical video doesn’t mean that you should, your tv isn’t mounted on the wall to the side is it? Sigh…so I have to post the sideways video –it’s SO cute! Damned pet peeve.