On January 22, 2016 I turned 40; the big four-oh, over the hill, fabulous forty, I’ve finally made it to “the club”…did I miss any?
There’s a lot to be said about turning 40, for me. Not everyone feels that this is a rite of passage, but man, I sure did. For at least a year I’ve been talking about this momentous occasion. I knew that it had to feel big and well celebrated or I would be let down. Let’s be honest here, I love birthdays and I enjoy feeling the spotlight love from as many friends and family that want to give it. I’m a true extrovert that gets immense energy and good vibes from the gobs of attention a birthday usually brings.
In general, people let you know how much they appreciate you on your birthday. They will recall all the great memories you both share through all the good times of becoming friends. Together you can walk down memory lane like it was yesterday and it feels good. I tend to hold onto friends for the long haul. We can pick up exactly where we left off no matter how much time has passed. Which means these nostalgic conversations are usually pretty entertaining and filled with lots of warm fuzzies that I carry with me as long as I can; it gives me perspective.
Turning 40 has taken me on a path of self discovery that I am happy to say has left me in a good place. This journey isn’t over, I’m sure of that, but I feel content in knowing that I am in what society considers, mid-life. The past year, leading up to it, has felt a bit like a mourning period, that I wasn’t even aware of. All I could do was talk about turning 40 and how that made me feel extra old even though I didn’t feel like I should be. What I didn’t realize was that what I really wanted was confirmation that I wasn’t that old, looked better than I felt I did and that life wasn’t about to be on the downhill.
Now I realize that all the times I wanted to post about all my accomplishments and life events was just another way to make myself feel better, from others, because I thought it would make a difference. I thought it would make me feel validated and special. Somehow it seemed that 40 meant I needed to list off all the check boxes for my so-called bucket list, but it’s not.
My second act is just at the beginning. Nothing has happened as I expected it to and I’m pretty sure that the rest of it won’t either. Predictions are useless. The one thing I am sure of is it will all happen the way it’s supposed to.